Jobless

It had been long since my last update. I still had a lot of #bloggingdebts going on but let's not go for these now. Most people that read my blog are my close friends so you guys must know already that I had graduated and now staying home.

Here comes the topic. I had been staying home for more than 3 months yet I am still staying home. Friends and relatives had been asking "Why are you always home?", "Haven't found a job yet?", "What are you do at home?", "Did you actually plan to work?", "Your mum feed you all these months after you graduate ar?" and so and so. They even comes in with "Youngsters nowadays huh. You all prefers to rest for months before get your ass off to find job right?"

Yes, I am very well aware that I am doing nothing at home being like an useless. At first, I enjoyed staying home so much. I have my big, new cozy room here which I can never rent a room up to this standard after I go out to the city for job. I have a 50' plasma in the living room, with all sort of Astro channels await for me. I have a comfortable dining room where everyday I am motivated to help cook good food for my family members, so we all can sit in a same table enjoying good meals.

But reality kicks in. I could not live this way for my whole life. I gotta go out and work. When people asked me, I had always reply "I am still waiting for companies' replies". I am not lying. I applied to few companies I wanted and I had been waiting for almost a month now. If I knew that companies will take their sweet time in replying, I would have apply last year in my final semester. I started to fret out. My friends are all working or waiting to commence already but I am at home doing nothing. Even for those who are not working, they are having work and travel in western countries. Everyday I am questioning myself, "What am I still doing at home?" but never really got myself an answer. I started to feel bad. Sure it is pretty easy for my mum to feed me. I eat only a little, I help do house chores but this is not what I wanted. My younger siblings have way lower qualifications than me but they are earning wages themselves. Me? Sometimes when my younger brother asked me about my job application, I was so ashamed to tell that I am still waiting and still applying. Sure he did not mean anything bad but is just curious and concern for my jobs, but still.

It is all my own fault that I am still jobless and staying home right now. If I could just move my lazy ass to apply for jobs during my last semester. Or at least right after I graduate. Before this I still told people that I will enjoy my CNY before start applying, damn and now I have enjoy my life way too much.

Sometimes I told myself to worry now or to feel bad now would not help. Just apply and apply for more companies and wait for the answers. Meanwhile, do anything I can at home. Cook, clean, tidy up, do filings, accompany my mum. And fill in this blog maybe.

Back to Study

After one month plus holiday-ing in the class, fooling with my classmates and doing nothing but surfing net in the room after class, I had finally get back to serious and start studying properly. Thanks to the test tomorrow LOL Spent half an hour in the library searching for the books needed and I had been studying for two days straight. And now decide to take a bit break by updating blog and change the template before I vomit on the books.

Nightmares. Outing. Exam. Holidays

#bloggingdebt Events happened like two months away from current date.

So basically the title says all. First, nightmares. Yes, nightmares. More to stress I put on myself leading to nightmares every single night weeks before the final examination. These all stressed me out. Still I was happy that there are people out there concerned about me =D

Sobs.. I love you all! Thanks for care! I am alright now. Lets just wait till the next wave of nightmares, which I believe will happen soon. Final exam is like 4 weeks away from now!

Next, outing. Yes, in the middle of my final examination period, I went outing with my besties. I had my first two final papers on Thursday and the third paper came only the next Wednesday. So it was like a week break in between the papers so I went outing with my besties for like half a day. And there was no need for me to feel guilty k! It was just a break in the middle of war LOL a rest to de-stress will make me strive better! #selfcomfort

So yeah outing. And guess where we head to? Jogoya! Oh gosh, I had missed Jogoya a lot. Although I still hate the fact that it did not serve ebi sushi T__T There was a story behind this Jogoya outing. One of the besties, Kyle was about to leave for study at UK for 3 months, so he requested for a farewell, asking us to have a fake farewell for him. Nah, farewell was just an excuse. I know you will miss us, Kyle. That's why you want a gathering =p We love him too and decided to just went along with it. So, Jogoya is it!

Look for the day. I purposely went to saloon to have my eyebrows fixed because I was so sick of having untidy and un-groomed eyebrows every time I have outing. So there is it. Ok la for only RM5 LOL

I drove to Old Klang Road to meet my friend and she drove rest of us to Jogoya because I was just too scare to drive to Jogoya alone. The traffic there was just like hell.

Beautiful passengers of the day, while we were waiting for the driver and co-driver to get ready LOL

We were the earliest to arrive, so we walked around in Pavillion and there were one or two of us wanted to have tea =.= A tea before buffet? I knew, weird right? Anyway, since they wanted it, so the rest of us just went along. We went in to a random cafe in Tokyo Street, Pavillion. And look what is this!

Macaroons! It was my first time to have macaroons. I had always heard friends talking about it, saw beautiful rows of macaroons in my Facebook news feed and I finally can have it! Two of these were mine, the rest belongs to another bestie. I love love love seeing macaroons because the bright colors always make me happy. 

And I still love seeing my own face in each photo. Thank you. 

And I had too high expectations towards the macaroon. Or at least the macaroons in this particular cafe (I forgot name of the cafe). They were too sweet! Each of them! I have always love sweet thing but these were too much. I had to painfully swallow down my two macaroons T__T And they were not cheap k! I can order a plate of chicken rice with the price I paid for one macaroon.

Let me quote from bestie Ivy, 'Curiosity kills the macaroon'. LOL We were curios of what the heck was in the middle of macaroon. So we 'killed' a macaroon to have a look at it. Nothing special. It was only super weird-smelling jam stuff inside macaroon. Tasted super weird if ate alone too. 

So when all the besties arrived, we went to Starhill for Jogoya! It was a long queue there because Jogoya was having promotion that time. We were lucky that when we got there, there were few of us already waiting in the line hahaha.

Selca while waiting! =D

The group and the table for warm up session

The real deal was here!

I must tell the story behind this dish. You can find this in the Teppanyaki area. Dish name is mushroom something. Drop your table number there and the staff will prepare and bring it over for you. It was my favourite dish and the besties's favourite too. I had drop the table number for this dishes twice, and the dishes  were served twice and yet, I never get to eat it even once. The other members took it. And then we realized that we had common liking towards this mushy and we dropped all the table numbers for the dish. Popular dish of the table LOL

And of course cannot left out my favourite dessert!

After the gathering, it was time to say bye bye again. Bye bye to all the fun and lets go back to my oh-so-stressful life. Final exam is here!

When you were busying for final, to eat good food will never ever come to mind. Just have your instant noodles while reading your notes.

Part of notes for final. I love colorful notes! 

Final papers had finally ended on 3rd May and that is it! Holidays! Oh how I loved the feeling to complete all the papers and pack to head home. I may post about my holidays in details in the next post. It had been too long that I had been lazying around blog, Facebook and Youtube so now, back to my assignments.

Another blogging debt in next post. Will try clear them all out as soon as possible.

low self confidence

Low self confidence. And I can proudly say that, that is my characteristic. Or maybe no. I am so not proud of having this. I am always envious of few certain ladies, especially who can look so confident in whatever they are doing or saying. I could never have done that. There are few ladies out there where I admire a lot, though I knew there are people calling them bitch. But for me, they are just girls who are very confident with herself or girls who stood up straight with their own opinions.

I can tell you that my self-confidence is to the max low level. And I was like that since I was very young. I always care too much of how people look at me. I am scared that people look at me negatively so I always remain to be normal, and ordinary. Sometimes I felt like standing out of the crowd, to impress people and be who I really want to be. But it is always the low self confidence that pull me down back, telling me that people out there will throw me harsh words and I will end up hurting myself.

When I was in high school, I was labeled the Biscuit Queen =.= because I used to only eat biscuits during recess time. And there is one time; we have recess period together with juniors/seniors and the cafeteria of course had more people than usual. Upon reaching the cafeteria, I was terrified by the amount of people there and my low self confidence came in again. I was OK being the Biscuit Queen among my friends but with another batch of students? No. I was scared that being teased and laughed for eating biscuits where the foods at cafeteria were so cheap. I told my friend about this and refused to go in. My friend had been my hero and said : Never mind. You are scared to bring your biscuits in right? I will bring it in for you! And I don't care what they said about me. And with that, she grabbed the biscuits from me and led me in to the cafeteria. Doink, it’s you! Do you still remember that? =D

And there is one time in Inti where I got only one period of class on that day. So I dress up very casually to class, thinking that I was going for only two hours class. So I wore a t-shirt, pants up to my knees and a pair of shoes. And it was great day when I met my crush in my most erm.. ugly attire. And he was only a meter away from me. It was obvious that he noticed me. But I pretended not to see him, buried my head in notes and walked a pace faster, like I was late for a test, because.. well..

There are a lot more for me to write but let’s call it the end there because if I continue writing, I won’t be finishing anytime sooner.

If I am a person with high self esteem, this blog will be loaded with loads of craps. Ok this blog is already a crap but if I am with high self esteem, it will be crap-ier. Because I will keep updating my blog with all the stuff crossed my mind. Believe me that I have lots to blog out here but I didn't do it..well..because of my low self confidence. I am scared of how people will think of me. What if mean people come judge me here and there because of the thing I posted? What if people think I am boring and childish and stuff like that? Here, let me just show you some example of post I wanted to write a lot but I always scare that I got negative comments on it, ended up I didn't write them. 

I have always wanted to post something like this once in a while.. But I was scared to get comments like: Meh, you think we cared? After all, who am I? But me myself being a loser, I love to find out what other people likes. Post like this, is always better than advertisements. I will choose to believe a product review written by someone who really use it rather than an advertisement. Visit the blog here

Like this blogger (more to youtuber actually), I also love to know what other people bought from shopping. I busybody I know. I used to check out what my mum bought from her shopping even it was grocery shopping =.= Again I was always scare to have post about my own purchases because well.. the same reason again..

This is my top favorite blogger, xiaxue. She is straight-forward and she stands still with her opinions regardless her mounting mean commenters/haters. In fact, my post about foreveraloneness was inspired by her. And as I state in that post, I did spent nights thinking whether to post that up or not because the topic was way too subjective and I might get flamed for that. But fortunately, I get 0 comment on it because I am nobody LOL

She is the meme proposal girl. She did this post of My Glamorous Life just because someone asked her if her life is as glamorous as it looks like. I had once trying to do similar post for my friend, because she knew that my life is not princessy at all but she just don't understand that why I kept saying that I live a princess life. I had all the materials prepared for the post but still I could not just post it up because I wonder who will actually cares about how my life is..

Or this. This blogger's online nickname is qiuqiu so the category of Qweekly (Q, her name + weekly) is all about the random things she had done in a week and wrote out in a post. Quite a good way to spend the weekend and keep the blog updated, I think.

So these are among the topics I have always wanted to write, but I am just too scare. Scared of how other people look at me. I personally love to read all those examples I posted above but when it come to me to write it out, I just have a million of thoughts. 

Like Rapunzel in the movie Rapunzel: Tangled after leaving her tower to finally step on the grass. But then right after she left her tower, she had mixed emotion. 

At one second, she will be very happy to leave the tower. 

At the next second, she will be emo for leaving the tower even her mother restricted her to do so, which annoyed Flynn to the max.

Good example to describe myself eh. When I was about to post or write something, I will be like: 'Hell yeah! I am so going to do it this time! Believe it!' Then the next moment, I will be like: 'No no no no no. There are mean people out there, reading what you wrote.'


But..! Rapunzel had left her tower. And me was having mixed emotion even before I write out anything. Yeah. I knew, I am the one negative here. And this shall not be me. This can't be me. I sometimes wonder why shall I worried so much. My blog, my rule, right?


There was one time, I had conversation with one friend, where we touched on a particular topic where I had just wrote out on my blog that time. I just then show him my blog so I don't have to painfully explain everything again. He read and asked me, 'Is there anything else in your blog which worth reading?' I was dumbfounded for a minute at his question. Well, I never expect that kind of question. I thought of harsh comments, people bitching over my post, people laughing behind my back but not this. I answered him a 'no'. I had told him from the beginning that my blog is a crappy blog, where I just use it to record down my feelings and all the happenings around me. 


I had deep thought over his question. Is there anything else in my blog that worth reading? I had thought of restructure my blog style, to make it private or even close it down because nothing particular in my blog that worth reading. But at last, no. I won't. To restructure means to forcefully change myself into someone else. I don't see why I shall make it private. To delete it is the worst. Blog can be deleted but the problem is still there. I am trying so hard to overcome my problem and to delete means to avoid the problem, not solving it. Only coward avoids problem. So I had come out with a conclusion. I am the one writing here. It is not me to decide that my blog worth reading or not. It is you. I am the writer, I decide what is the worth writing one. And I can say, everything I wrote were worth writing. 


Now I am overcoming my low self confidence. Be prepared to be bombard by tons of crappy post. =)


p/s: This had been written really long time ago. The original of this post end till Rapunzel. It was actually concluded with something like: To have mixed emotion and worry even before I write out? Place confidence in myself. Step out from it like how Rapunzel left her tower. Yeah, some sort of thing to convince myself that I can do it. But then it was again shoved under my Drafts for months. I was still battling even after I wrote it. Coward. After the conversation, now I finally dig it out, edit there and here, and ready to publish this post. Because to hide it under Drafts is coward. Because I really feel that these were all worth writing. Worth reading or not is not decided by me, can't be controlled by me. So, why the worry? If you have been scrolling until this point, thank you =) and a big thank you to my friend too. 


p/p/s: I knew I went for hiatus for long time. Friend had been like: your last post was like 2 months ago! =.= I am updating now. I have to clear up my blogging debt before I can finally has space to blog about recent things. 


Stay tune ;) 
xoxo 

sleepless night

With my condition now, I don’t really think that I can fall asleep fast. So I might as well as have a short post? Too many things in my mind. Too many. I missed the time where I can easily fall asleep regardless how stressful was my day and how many works waiting for me after I wake. I was the number one when come to sleep lol but now seems that things change as I grew old. As the time flies, I felt like I the responsibility I had to bear become bigger. The big stone on your shoulder is never easy. The topics of studies, money, job, relationship with human and future never stop haunting me. And they like to haunt me most when I want to sleep damn it. Can’t you all give me a break? Plus my sensitive behavior never helps but to worsen the whole thing. One word spoken from you might hurt my feeling and I kept recalling the moments for days. That just add up the time I rolled on bed, forcing myself to sleep. And for people I care most (ie. mum) - no word is needed, a slight action or slight change in the talking tune would just make me stressful for days. And sleepless too. I was proud to be a Cancer baby because according to the horoscope description, Cancer baby was the most sensitive among all. I was proud. I thought being sensitive was a good thing but now I wish that I could throw that away . Sometimes I am being over-sensitive and that over-ness brought me tons of sleepless night and bottomless stress. 

I want to talk things out here, but I couldn't. After all, this blog is public. I was ready with a pen and a piece of paper, wanted to write down things that stress me up and keep the paper away from my sight at least for the night and sleep well (works for me) but I realized that I don't know what should I write down. Does it means that I have nothing to be stressed with? But still I feel the stress here. I don't know how to help myself this time. Even if now God give me someone to lend me his ears, I think I still can't speak it out. There are a lot of things bothering me but I could not put it in words. Damn. 

I think I should just try to sleep. Or try to list things out again. At least now by babbling 'I am stressed out that I could not sleep' at the blog make me feel a little better. Well then, good night. Wish you all have a peaceful night. 

friends

Emo post. 

I am shy, I am introverted, I have only few friends. It is to the point where I am comfortable with only myself or only people I am really close with. I feel comfortable roaming around the shopping malls alone. And the idea that 'Hey, try inviting some of your classmates or course mates'  never crossed my mind whenever I plan to go out. Yes, I did it several times before. And honestly, nothing feel as comfortable as roaming around shopping mall alone. I mean, how I can stand for 2 hours in book store when I am with friends right? People I felt comfortable with - my family, my besties, my bf.

But sometimes, I still feel lonely. Yes, I am used to be alone but still I will have the feeling to be surrounded by lots of friends sometimes. Family is 2.5 hours drive away from me. Besties are not always free. We have only specific time for gathering. Bf has his own life too, give the poor guy a little break.

Facebook is always the weapon to stir up the envy/jealousy in me. Every time, I saw people posting their happy photos with their university friends in Facebook. I am very envy/jealous of people who mix well with their classmates or course mates. Can you imagine, people came from across the globe/nation and you guys are placed together in a class. With no clue of what is each other past, sometimes even what each other's real names, you guys can be friends. In short time, maybe good friends. That you guys can go for dinner, movies and even trip together. Or hugging each other for photos. Which we always see girl hugs her bestie in the photos. You all lucky people. I am envy. I am jealous. Why can't I have good friends in University too?

Things happened when I am in first year of degree life. When I first started, I think friendship is just 'meh' here in University. I came here to study, I came here to get a degree. Not socializing outside there all night long and wasting my parent's money as well as my sleeping beauty time. But soon, I felt lonely. I eat alone, I study alone, I walk to class alone, I did everything alone. And it hit me at my face that I actually need friends here. After all, what is university life when you have no friends and no memory here? As much as I hate socializing, going out at night because I think that it wasted my time to sleep, I promise myself to make more new friends, and go out socializing with them. As long as I drew an invisible line of to what point I shall allow myself to socialize then it shall be alright, right? And I am lucky enough, after a few nights of hang out and study in group, I am their 'friend'. Friend as in they will remember to ask you out for dinner together, for movies, for outing and remember to celebrate your birthday with you. Not that kind of friends where all the topic of conversation and time spent together were limited to class time only.

But very soon, I got kicked out from their life. I am no idea why. I kept figuring why but still I don't get it. If you think that it is my problem, my attitude or behavior problem, please let me know. If I agreed with what you said, definitely I will change. I have my ego but I am not stubborn. If deep in my heart, I agreed that I am at the wrong side, I will change for the sake of our friendship and for a better me. If I didn't agree with what you said, then just forget about it. You are just unhappy that I am not living the way you want. But still, you even refuse to take the initiative step. You refuse to tell and you refuse to let me improve myself and accept the new me. Am I not being initiative enough? I put down my ego, again and again I try to have back you all as friends. That sometimes I am so ashamed of myself. That sometimes I thought, why should I bother while you all have already gave me up. That sometimes I thought, why should I lower myself to that position? Because I valued you, you, you and you. Because I love you all as friends.

Familiar? Happened to almost everyone, I guess. Happened to me too, a lot of times. Feel like tearing up? Yes. Very. But this is not the worst yet. Know what's the worst? When they go for outing in a real big bunch of friends together, laughing along the street and you bump into them. Real story, baby. Do you all have the idea of how broken is my heart and how I hold my tears in heart and how I fake my smile and says :

Hey where are you guys going? Oh? June's birthday? Happy birthday June! =D

You guys don't even fake on a : 

'Oh hi how coincidence! Lets join us!'

Of course I knew it was fake, silly. Coincidence because we bump into each other when you all going for a biggie big birthday celebration when I am going for dinner. But at least, faking a 'fake invitation' might make me feel better. And no worries, I won't accept it. After all, it was fake and not sincere. Just to make myself feel better. I psycho I know. What's the point of the fake invitation when I knew it is fake and I am not going?

I had one or two drops of tears, looking at the photos we took together before and thinking of the memories we had before. That was past. Now I am stand up strong. Guess mummy is right when she told me not to put much hope in friendship and love. 'I understand your bond with your besties but people out there (the 'friends' in University) is not the same.' Put much hope, put much love and you get hurt at the end. You think they care about you now?

So with that, I keep myself alone. Activity with friends are limited to class period and class related stuff. Even it is outside the class time, it is only lunch/dinner/real quick movie. But not everyone here is bad. Flo and Venna, if you are reading this, I love you girls =) I should have went intern with you girls.

So I keep myself a distance, even until now. But still problem occurs. wtf. What else I did wrong this time? I was kind to the new found friends. I offered myself to run from level 4 to the ground level to take newly printed notes for them. When there is short of notes, I offer them my own notes, saying that I can re-print it later on. I had lunch and dinner with them occasionally. I wasted my napping time to accompany them to meet lecturers. You all can't see the effort I tried to pour into our friendship? And yet what I got? Betrayal. Left out. For one single assignment. I don't wish to elaborate. Don't ask me. I acted cool but I am hurt. It is actually minor. A very minor form of betrayal. Ok la I use betrayal because I can't think of any other less-serious term. But still it hurts. I show you cool face because that is only I can do. I am being nice to you still because I don't want to make things worse.

Guess I don't have much fate with people. I will hug my teddy and go around with it and tell people : that's my best friend. My girls, you are all still the best. I miss you all.

One or two is missing here. But don't get offended girls. You know who you are. Just posting this because this is my favorite piece. 

once again to the part-time

After a long break from doing part time job, finally, now I am back to it again. First day as promoter at Giant Nilai today. When I start searching for promoter job, the thing in my mind is about the money. I need money, I need to save the money I earned so I can achieve my dream. I need jobs that offer me good pay.

But now, today, after stepping into my job, it changed my perception. Still, pay is important. Don't you come offer me with RM60 promoter job, standing from 10am to 10pm at Midvalley. No, I won't accept it. But there is another thing that I realized today. It is the people, experience and knowledge you gain throughout the process. I am in good luck today that people I met are all nice. Ok choi! I will jinx it later on. Later I got to meet all bad people tomorrow then how? T__T

And the experience and knowledge gained, they are not the things you gonna get from your books. Today, by stepping out to the work again, I gained knowledge, I gained experiences. Who knows that actually a packaging of a bottle will affect the freshness of the juice?

And today, I gained beginning of few friendship. I am happy. I could not stop smiling from after my work until now. That feeling is just something special, something I could not explain it in words =) Although it is very tiring standing from 12pm to 9pm. So tired that I even feel like fainting before my break time. Maybe because I drank only Milo before work. And the few tiny cuts on my fingers. I have no idea how I got those cuts. I haven't realize that I cut my fingers until I off. But still the whole thing worth it =)

Ok this is getting too wordy, because I have no idea how to write until I have the chance to insert my own pictures here :p Uh who cares la. I wanna insert my pictures now so I am going to do it now! :p

Pictures coming!

So lets start here. First step to a job is the resume! Not going to reveal my resume here but the pictures I attached in it! So these three are the photos I attached in the resume. What! I know la, it is amateur type of pictures la! But where I wanna find a professional looking picture of mine. They are so troubly I tell you. They want close up pictures la, half body length pictures la, and then full length pictures. Where to get all those pictures for them! These three are the most appropriate and professional looking pictures of myself! I had to search back all the self-obsessed pictures of mine to get these three! And I did apologize in the resume for attaching amateur type of picture!

Finally I got a call after few resume I sent out. Pictures attached failed to be seen lol. And they really want to see me and my body size because their uniform size is XS -.- I am not XS size. But still they send me an application form and asked me to fill in and attached another picture of mine.

 So I attached this. One of the three photos that I thought that I look most professional here LOL And they want full-length picture of mine too. So troubly! So I attached this...

..this is the worst among all. But the only clear, full-length picture that I had. This was taken at Forever 21 fitting room. Yeah, very, super duper, freaking obvious that it is taken in a fitting room! How unprofessional! And I regret that I didn't buy that top! I miss it so much! T__T

So time flies until the day I got to work..

Woots! Going to work. Haven't got my uniform yet so I wear white to work. Promoters must only wear white shirt and long black pants and black shoes to work. But ended up I can't get in too because the security guard said that my shirt has no collar T__T Still have to stand outside there wait until my supervisor come and give me the uniform. 

Yup, as you can see, the job I accepted is the F&N Fruit Tree sampling. Easy job. You go to the store, drag 2 bigass ice box, and a bigass counter to the place where you suppose to stand for the whole day. Then you set up your counter. Then again, you drag the 2 bigass ice boxes to ice room and get your ice there, and drag back to the counter. Then you chill the F&N Fruit Tree juices in it for half an hour. While waiting, you go count stock. Then when the F&N Fruit Tree juices are chilled, you take out the bottles and start doing your work. Believe me that it is really hurts when you keep taking the juices out from the mountain of ice. My hands become so red that my supervisor actually asked me that : Does it hurts? And I of course, faking on it and say : No la! Small matter! But it is actually hurts like hell T__T But to be honest la, this is one of the easiest job that I had accepted. I am so scare that my supervisor will give me concentrated juices and asked me to mix it with water  and ice before served. That is my most hated type of job. So troubly!

And the time just flies. Promoters are not allowed to bring phone to work. If not I am going to have lots of photo session in it tehee :p and I am going to post a lot of photos here. You all lucky that I can't bring my phone inside LOL

So, 9pm is the time I off! But I am being slow in packing and counting stock so I ended up reach room at 10pm T__T My extra one hour of rest time flew away. Know what's best after a whole day long of standing? Hot shower? Nah. Lousy Inti the hot shower is not hot at all. Plus no bath tub here so that is not the good one. Had to stand 20 minutes shower le! After a whole day standing, now come back room already still have to stand another 20 minutes for shower. The best  after a tiring working day are..

..ahh.. this is the best.. And if you all spot the tea packet there, it is a green tea packet. Friend once told me that this works after a whole day standing. So I tried... and I get conned. Lie one. Still the same. Makes no difference. Wasted me another pack of green tea geez.. =.= And another good thing is...

..have a cup of your favourite green tea. I know la, it is a bit disgusting to have green tea packets at your feet and at your cup at same time. But this is two different packets ok! But still, how I wish I have a bath tub now that I can immersed myself in, play some soft jazz song and have a glass of fresh, home made fruit juice. Ahh, life will be so perfect by then.. =)

And all this result in a happy me. *insert picture of me smiling* 

I still have a lot to talk about actually especially the really nice people I met today! My nice supervisor, my good customers, my new made sweet friends, the friendly staff over there. How I wanted to tell about how nice and how good they are to me here and how few of them actually thought that I am only 20 (:p) but I really scare that I will jinx things here. I am not being superstitious but things may happen so I just kept the good things to myself this time.

A day passes. Another working day to go tomorrow. It is getting late now and I have to go to bed already. Good night all =) Whoever reading this, I am in really good mood and I love you all! :D

we're gonna say goodbye

First official post at the new year of 2012! The previous one didn't count, as it was a review post for what I had done for year 2011. Boring life as usual, LOL. I was pretty unmotivated plus lazy to update my blog but the only reason that motivate me to update it is that I need space for my coming post. I am going to my Jimui Doink's birthday dinner later (18th Jan) so I am gonna blog about it, hopefully by this Friday. And I am going to have interesting Chinese New Year ^^ so I am gonna need lotsa space to blog about it. And I am slightly very annoyed by my previous blog style, where I will cramp all the stuff I wanna blog about in only one post. And then I will like "1st Jan : blah blah blah happened", "5th Jan : blah blah blah happened" and so on. Took me hell lot of time to prepare that one single post and it might annoyed you as well. So I decided to just take off my lazy ass of the bed and update my blog on time, or after single event happened.

So let me started with my as-usual-boring life since the new year started. I had actually made new year resolutions and one of them is to make my life interesting. Interesting as in I mix around with more uni friends and get more social life. But until now, still, my life is as boring as usual. Like now, they are having INTI China Town just outside my block and I am typing a blog post in my room T__T Reasons are
1) I don't have friends to walk out with me. No, it is enough for me to be forever alone in my room, I don't want be forever alone out there too T__T
2) It will make me home sick more. I hate Nilai for not having CNY mood/spirit all around here. I miss the CNY spirit back in my hometown Sempalit or even the spirit in shopping malls like Pavilion. Felt like skipping all the classes and go back to where I belong now!
3) The event is simply boring. Is it not like I never attend event like that before. It is all the same with previous year one. All the same food and drink stalls out there and MC try to bring out the heat out of the crowd -.-
So yeah. Another fail resolution? We can't decide it too fast, after all, it is only the 18th days after new year started.

So lets get into the main topic of the post ^^ Before that, yes, I am fine here except that I miss my home dearly. I wish time can be fast forward so it is CNY now. Random pictures about what I did back in hometown during holidays.

When my mum is busy, I will automatically went to her working place to help her out. I am week in selling because I refused to memorize the cost price and selling price of each item, which will ease a lot when customer asked for discount, but it will take up lot of space of my memory LOL. But I am pretty good in settling paperwork tho =)

Or else I will stay at home, cleaned the home for CNY. Yeah, Happy Tupperwares Day. Mum will use lots of Tupperwares when CNY so I being a good daughter helped her to clean them all so she can use it when in need.

School started on 9th Jan. Went back to The Jungle INTI on 8th. Get enrolled on first day of class.

This is just to show off my patience. How many of you will wait if your turn is like at gap of 100++ 172 away? Me did. I took the Q-number for the payment, feeling like killing INTI for its slow work, went out the enrollment hall to buy ice-cream, went back to hall and sit for 2 hours until it was my turn and it turned up I did not have to pay a single cent as it was already covered by PTPTN. So nice, I love myself for my patience =)

From back in INTI untill today, I was busy with my bf's application to go overseas and settling his stuff here. He was going to and fro between KL and Nilai to settle his application these two weeks. Talk about last minute, he was practically settling his going to overseas stuff seriously only in these two weeks. And I, being a very good gf *shameless again* had to accompany him to run to and fro between my uni and KL. Every single day after the sem started, we will go out. To Subang, where his agent at, or to Shah Alam where he temporary stay at or to Seremban to settle business related stuff or even to the shopping malls where he had promised his friends for meals for his farewell. He even went back to his hometown at Ipoh for few days to settle his family stuff but I was not following for the trip. Crazy ar, I still have my class going on here one ne. So I was practically not at Nilai most of the time because of these. Sometimes I even stay overnight at his guardian's house at Shah Alam because I was too tired to drive back Nilai.

 For this two weeks, this little bag had been my good traveling buddy. It is just nice to stuff in your stuff for a one night trip. Every time we went out to KL, I made sure that I had bring my traveling essentials along, in case I am too tired to drive back to Nilai and had to stay at aunt's (bf's guardian) house. And she is always nice enough to provide me a spacious guest room =)

 My traveling essentials =) This had remind me of about two years ago, of how am I am trained to pack stuff within 5 minutes for emergency business meeting for days at outstation. I am kind of miss that kind of lifestyle now =) where you are always rush to here and there for the business, like a real corporate woman :p

Nothing to be highlighted for the to and fro trip. Nothing special about it also. They were just all me or him drive from Nilai to Subang to find his agent to submit forms and discuss about the universities, then we drove back Nilai. Except that you all want another piece of grandma story telling how I spent my time day by day. Believe me that I kept track of my journey in my organizer planner, but you will not want to listen read all those. Spent a lot on tolls, petrol and having meals outside though T__T I am gonna eat bread to survive this month. A thing that I would like to highlight is that we went for Jogoya and Pavillion on 14th Jan with his friend! ^^ Got a meal of free Jogoya yeah! But I don't like going buffet with him and will never go to buffet with him. He will keep nagging me about how much I had eaten, and how fat I am. Seriously, my jimui that read this, I miss Jogoya session with you girls! <3

Favorite in Jogoya. I love soup a lot!

Wasabi battle between bf and me. Friend refuse to join. It is obvious that I lose, right? I can't chew it even for once. 

Self-invented waffle + ice cream! Yum yum

So after 3 hours of sitting and chewing *ahem* in Jogoya, we went to Farenheit. Nothing much there, plus the stuff sold there was pretty expensive. I was betting that the rental there is expensive because the price of stuff sold there was not in a line with the quality. Totally did not worth it. Only attraction for me is the Carlo Rino boutique. Lots of stock there LOL And the next destination is Pavillion :D CNY spirit is everywhere in there!

Look at the dragon! So gigantic!

When we was roaming around Starhill, Sephora, Farenheit and Pavillion, I felt very happy at the view. Lots of people were going in and out around the shopping malls. Bf describe the situation is something like they had in Japan, where lots of people were walking here and there, and they waited patiently for the light to turn green at T-junction before continuing their journey to next destination. I agreed with his explanation, of course eliminate the view where lorries simply park at side of road to unload the stuff LOL The view is total beauty. The people make the view at the T-junction looks so merry and pretty. And with all the shopping malls having red red decorations, it lit up the CNY spirit to the max! I always hate to visit Pavillion because the area there was 24/7 having massive traffic jam and I hate to visit shopping malls during weekend, it makes the traffic worse plus there were lots of people inside that you don't even feel like walking in. But this time, I am happy to see another side of the busy-ness of the crowd in the city. It does not feel that bad after all. Eliminate the stupid cars parked at random places and the safety of your belongings ( LOL - because bf keep remind me to take good care of my bag and S2 that time -.- ), it actually feels like the merry crowd in Japan =)

So yeah, everything was settled yesterday and he had already went back to his hometown for CNY and wait for his oversea university approval, me driving him to train station earlier. At first, I felt nothing. It was just a break between us. It is not like we never had a break before when I went back to my hometown and he went back to his. I was still blur and did not know what's in front of me. He almost teared up, saying that this will be the last time I saw him. He will be going overseas for at least one year and half. That is the at least. It might take two years or even three years. His application haven't been approved so we don't know they duration he will take to complete degree oversea. We don't know when is he leaving. I just know that he will leave soon, as soon as the end of the month or the latest by June, but that was unlikely to happen. He is not willing to wait until June. We don't even know to which country he is going, it is either Australia or England. Yeah, I am gonna eat bread in INTI for whole year if I want to visit those places him. We were both pursuing in INTI and we met each other almost daily, even for that half an hour for lunch. He had leave me for a whole month vacation at Australia and month of vacation at China before, I was really okey with those but this will be the first time we will not see each others for years. I had mentally prepared myself for this, I knew he will further study at oversea anytime or sooner. But still I can't hold back tears too when he told me that. I then promised to send him off at airport. It was my initial plan, it is just that I didn't tell him before.

So yeah, now in INTI, I am forever alone again. I don't have much friends here because of my introvert personality. Don't accuse me that I am not having friends here because I stick with my bf 24/7, you don't know me. I am forever alone even before we knew each other. And now I will back to square one, to my old life where I walk to class alone, eat in room alone and doing all sort of stuff alone. As I said, I am prepared for this, but it will take some time for me to adjust back to my forever alone life. Yeah, I can do it I knew it.

So that's all for the blog post this time. The next post should be about my Jimui Thatcher aka Doink birthday dinner celebration. Doink, if you are reading this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU!

 

Muahhahahaha! You didn't expect to see this right? I was browsing for a picture between you and me just for this post and I found this! Your current picture is lot prettier but it is ok, I ugly together with you :P

Happy birthday to you again! =)

First official post at the new year of 2012! The previous one didn't count, as it was a review post for what I had done for year 2011. Boring life as usual, LOL. I was pretty unmotivated plus lazy to update my blog but the only reason that motivate me to update it is that I need space for my coming post. I am going to my Jimui Doink's birthday dinner tomorrow (18th Jan) so I am gonna blog about it, hopefully by this Friday. And I am going to have interesting Chinese New Year ^^ so I am gonna need lotsa space to blog about it. And I am slightly very annoyed by my previous blog style, where I will cramp all the stuff I wanna blog about in only one post. And then I will like "1st Jan : blah blah blah happened", "5th Jan : blah blah blah happened" and so on. Took me hell lot of time to prepare that one single post and it might annoyed you as well. So I decided to just take off my lazy chair of the bed and update my blog on time, or after single event happened.

So let me started with my as-usual-boring life since the new year started. I had actually made new year resolutions and one of them is to make my life interesting. Interesting as in I mix around with more uni friends and get more social life. But until now, still, my life is as boring as usual. Like now, they are having INTI China Town just outside my block and I am typing a blog post in my room T__T Reasons are
1) I don't have friends to walk out with me. No, it is enough for me to be forever alone in my room, I don't want be forever alone out there too T__T
2) It will make me home sick more. I hate Nilai for not having CNY mood/spirit all around here. I miss the CNY spirit back in my hometown Sempalit or even the spirit in shopping malls like Pavilion. Felt like skipping all the class and go back to where I belong now!
3) The event is simply boring. Is it not like I never attend event like that before. It is all the same with previous year one. All the same food and drink stalls out there and MC try to bring out the heat out of the crowd -.-
So yeah. Another fail resolution? We can't decide it too fast, after all, it is only the 17th days after new year started.

So lets get into the main topic of the post ^^ Before that, yes, I am fine here except that I miss my home dearly. I wish time can be fast forward so it is CNY now. Random pictures about what I did back in hometown during holidays.

 When my mum is busy, I will automatically went to her working place to help her out. I am weak in sales because I always refuse to memorize the cost price and selling price, took up too much of my memory space. I am good in paperwork tho =)

Or else I will stay at home, cleaned the home for CNY. Yeah, Happy Tupperwares Day. Mum will use lots of Tupperwares for CNY so I being good daughter cleaned it for her.


School started on 9th Jan. Went back to The Jungle INTI on 8th. Get enrolled on first day of class.

This is just to show off my patience. How many of you will wait if your turn is like at gap of 100++ 172 away? Me did. I took the Q-number for the payment, feeling like killing INTI for its slow work, went out the enrollment hall to buy ice-cream, went back to hall and sit for 2 hours until it was my turn and it turned up I did not have to pay a single cent as it was already covered by PTPTN =) So nice, I love myself for my patience


From back in INTI untill today, I was busy with my bf's application to go overseas and settling his stuff here. He was going to and fro between KL and Nilai to settle his application these two weeks. Talk about last minute, he was practically settling his going to overseas stuff seriously only in these two weeks. And I, being a very good gf *shameless again* had to accompany him to run to and fro between my uni and KL. Every single day after the sem started, we will go out. To Subang, where his agent at, or to Shah Alam where he temporary stay at or to Seremban to settle business related stuff or even to the shopping malls where he had promised his friends for meals for his farewell. He even went back to his hometown at Ipoh for few days to settle his family stuff but I was not following for the trip. Crazy ar, I still have my class going on here one ne. So I was practically not at Nilai most of the time because of these. Sometimes I even stay overnight at his guardian's house at Shah Alam because I was too tired to drive back Nilai.

Nothing to be highlighted for the to and fro trip. Nothing special about it also. They were just all me or him drive from Nilai to Subang to find his agent to submit forms and discuss about the universities, then we drove back Nilai. Except that you all want another piece of grandma story telling how I spent my time day by day. Believe me that I kept track of my journey in my organizer planner, but you will not want to listen read all those. Spent a lot on tolls, petrol and having meals outside though T__T I am gonna eat bread to survive this month. A thing that I would like to highlight is that we went for Jogoya and Pavillion on 14th Jan with his friend! ^^ Got a meal of free Jogoya yeah! But I don't like going buffer with him and will never go to buffet with him. He will keep nagging me about how much I had eaten, and how fat I am. Seriously my jimui that read this, I miss Jogoya session with you girls! <3

Favourite in Jogoya. I love soup a lot!

Wasabi battle between bf and me. Friend refuse to join. It is obvious that I lose, right? I can't chew it even for once. 

Self-invented waffle + ice cream! Yum yum


So after 3 hours of sitting and chewing *ahem* in Jogoya, we went to Farenheit. Nothing much there, plus the stuff sold there was pretty expensive. I was betting that the rental there is expensive because the price of stuff sold there was not in a line with the quality. Totally did not worth it. Only attraction for me is the Carlo Rino boutique. Lots of stock there LOL And the next destination is Pavillion :D CNY spirit is everywhere in there!

Look at the dragon! So gigantic!

When we was roaming around Starhill, Sephora, Farenheit and Pavillion, I felt very happy at the view. Lots of people were going in and out around the shopping malls. Bf describe the situation is something like they had in Japan, where lots of people were walking here and there, and they waited patiently for the light to turn green at T-junction before continuing their journey to next destination. I agreed with his explanation, of course eliminate the view where lorries simply park at side of road to unload the stuff LOL The view is total beauty. The people make the view at the T-junction looks so merry and pretty. And with all the shopping malls having red red decorations, it lit up the CNY spirit to the max! I always hate to visit Pavillion because the area there was 24/7 having massive traffic jam and I hate to visit shopping malls during weekend, it makes the traffic worse plus there were lots of people inside that you don't even feel like walking in. But this time, I am happy to see another side of the busyness of the crowd in the city. It does not feel that bad after all. Eliminate the stupid cars parked at random places and the safety of your belongings ( LOL - because bf keep remind me to take good care of my bag and S2 that time -.- ), it actually feels like the merry crowd in Japan =)


So yeah, everything was settled yesterday and he had already went back to his hometown for CNY and wait for his oversea university approval, me driving him to train station earlier. At first, I felt nothing. It was just a break between us. It is not like we never had a break before when I went back to my hometown and he went back to his. I was still blur and did not know what's in front of me. He almost teared up, saying that this will be the last time I saw him. He will be going overseas for at least one year and half. That is the at least. It might take two years or even three years. His application haven't been approved so we don't know they duration he will take to complete degree oversea. We don't know when is he leaving. I just know that he will leave soon, as soon as the end of the month or the latest by June, but that was unlikely to happen. He is not willing to wait until June. We don't even know to which country he is going, it is either Australia or England. Yeah, I am gonna eat bread in INTI for whole year if I want to visit those places him. We were both pursuing in INTI and we met each other almost daily. He had leave me for a whole month vacation at Australia and month of vacation at China before, I was okey with those but this will be the first time we will not see each others for years. I had mentally prepared myself for this, I knew he will further study at oversea anytime or sooner. But still I can't hold back tears too when he told me that. I then promised to send him off at airport. It was my initial plan, it is just that I didn't tell him before.