With my condition now, I don’t really think that I can fall asleep fast. So I might as well as have a short post? Too many things in my mind. Too many. I missed the time where I can easily fall asleep regardless how stressful was my day and how many works waiting for me after I wake. I was the number one when come to sleep lol but now seems that things change as I grew old. As the time flies, I felt like I the responsibility I had to bear become bigger. The big stone on your shoulder is never easy. The topics of studies, money, job, relationship with human and future never stop haunting me. And they like to haunt me most when I want to sleep damn it. Can’t you all give me a break? Plus my sensitive behavior never helps but to worsen the whole thing. One word spoken from you might hurt my feeling and I kept recalling the moments for days. That just add up the time I rolled on bed, forcing myself to sleep. And for people I care most (ie. mum) - no word is needed, a slight action or slight change in the talking tune would just make me stressful for days. And sleepless too. I was proud to be a Cancer baby because according to the horoscope description, Cancer baby was the most sensitive among all. I was proud. I thought being sensitive was a good thing but now I wish that I could throw that away . Sometimes I am being over-sensitive and that over-ness brought me tons of sleepless night and bottomless stress.
I want to talk things out here, but I couldn't. After all, this blog is public. I was ready with a pen and a piece of paper, wanted to write down things that stress me up and keep the paper away from my sight at least for the night and sleep well (works for me) but I realized that I don't know what should I write down. Does it means that I have nothing to be stressed with? But still I feel the stress here. I don't know how to help myself this time. Even if now God give me someone to lend me his ears, I think I still can't speak it out. There are a lot of things bothering me but I could not put it in words. Damn.
I think I should just try to sleep. Or try to list things out again. At least now by babbling 'I am stressed out that I could not sleep' at the blog make me feel a little better. Well then, good night. Wish you all have a peaceful night.
